Road Trip!
by Ionia Metallium-Greywers
Summary: Crawford takes the rest of Schwarz on vacation to America. This is what happens! Read and review, minna! ^^ (Chapter 5 uploaded!)
1. On the Road to Nowhere...

A/N: While trying to write chapter 4 for 'Only For You', this brilliant idea popped up in my head. I'm so proud of myself! ^^ Just don't ask. I'm in a really, really good mood today, 'cuz yesterday I thought sure I'd broke my PlayStation 2, but just an hour ago, I figured out that the switch was on channel 4 instead of channel 3. I'm SUCH a genius. ^^;; By the way, if no one knows, King's Island is an amusement park about an hour away from where I live. It's the one with that really big wooden rollercoaster, the Beast and the Son of the Beast? ...yeah, anyway... ^^;; Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own King's Island, or Weiß Kreuz. Yeah, that's right. I can't give you free merchandise. I'll...go cry now.  
  
Warning: Uh...Farfisms. I like Farfisms. ^^ Everyone likes Farfisms...  
  
-----  
  
"Farf, sit still!"  
  
The Irishman fidgeted. "But I CAN'T! I'm too excited!"  
  
Nagi sighed. "He's not gonna sit still, Schu. You know that."  
  
The German rolled his eyes. "I shouldn't have told him about the Beast."  
  
Farfie squealed. "THE BEAST!!!"  
  
Crawford pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to concentrate on driving instead of the idea of tying down a certain psychopath to the roof of the car. "Will you all just calm down, please?! It'll be another HOUR until we get to King's Island, so PLEASE respect the need for SILENCE!!!"  
  
"YEEE!!!" Farfie screeched as he spotted the ice cream truck speeding down the highway near them.  
  
"God...why?" Schu sighed as he propped his arm on the window of the car.  
  
The seating arrangement was thus: Crawford driving, with Nagi navigating; Schuldich in the back seat behind Crawford, and Farfarello in the back seat behind Nagi.  
  
Crawford had taken them to America for vacation, knowing it was going to be a bad idea anyway. They were going to King's Island, an amusement park near Cincinnati, Ohio. Yes. Dear god, an amusement park. Like Farf needed any more amusement.  
  
Farfie pulled on the seatbelt with his teeth, ripping it in several places. "Yai!"  
  
"Damnit, Farfarello, THIS IS A RENTAL CAR!!!"  
  
...As I said, like he needed any more amusement.  
  
"These American maps are hard to read, Crawford-san." Nagi squinted at the map. "I think you're supposed to take a left at this exit..."  
  
"Are you sure?" Schu grabbed the map from the prodigy's hands. "...hmm...iie, bishounen. You're suposed to take a RIGHT, not a left."  
  
"Thank you, Schuldich." Crawford swerved into the lane for the exit ramp.  
  
"See, bishounen? You should let ME navigate. Come back here and sit with Farfie." Schu grinned.  
  
Nagi's eyes widened. He looked at Crawford. "Crawford-san?"  
  
Crawford pushed up his glasses. "You ARE having trouble reading that map. Next chance I get, I'll pull over and you two can switch."  
  
The car was quiet for a few minutes. Then...  
  
"I HAVE TO PISS!!!"  
  
Schu's head almost went through the window it was leaning on. He rubbed his ear. "OW! Goddamnit, Farf! Warn me when you're gonna yell!!!"  
  
"But I DO!" Farfie whined.  
  
Crawford sighed. "Schuldich, where's the next rest stop?"  
  
Schu proudly took the map from Nagi. "Ano...2 miles, mein leibchen!"  
  
"Really..." Crawford glanced into the review mirror, where Farfie was doing the potty dance sitting down. "..."  
  
"I don't think he can hold it, Cap'n!" Schu said, saluting Crawford in a sailor-like manner and speaking with a bad Scottish accent. "He's about to breach the hull, sir! Request to shove psycho out the door, sir!"  
  
"Oooh..." Farfie sighed as he thought of the feeling of asphalt embedded into his arms.  
  
"FARFARELLO!!! You did NOT just piss in this car!!!" Crawford roared.  
  
"Um..." Farf checked himself. "...no, I didn't."  
  
"..." Crawford's eye twitched. "Schuldich, you do NOT have permission to shove Farfarello out the door, as much as he would probably LOVE to be pushed out the door..."  
  
"Aww..." Schu pouted. "But--"  
  
"Just...be quiet..."  
  
"Um...Crawford-san?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Car."  
  
"SHIT!!!" Crawford swerved out into the median and back onto the correct side of the highway. Gasping for breath, he leaned back in his chair, while Nagi turned the steering wheel with his telekinesis.  
  
Farfie, stil doing the potty dance sitting down, giggled. "Near misses give God heart attacks. Near misses hurt God."  
  
TBC 


	2. Of Toilets and Coke Machines

Title: Road Trip  
  
Author: Ionia Metallium-Greywers  
  
Chapter: 2  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
A/N: Gomen, I haven't gotten to write much in a while. Busy with school and all that, you all understand right? Plus, I'm busy with about 10-12 MLs, 2 of which I'm moderating, so...well, that's how it goes. ^^;; But since school's out for two-and-a-half to three months, all of that should change. ^^ Yay! Go me! *waves uncharacteristic pom-poms* Oh, and by the way, this fic is now officially a joint-author fic by me and NagiLite! (Who wrote the majority of this chapter. ) ^^ Yay!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß Kreuz, or any characters in the anime/manga/radio drama, or King's Island.  
  
I was instructed to put this in. ^^  
  
Warning: May induce stress-relieving/fatal laughter. Take in small doses once every few hours.  
  
OK! On with the fic! ^^  
  
-----  
  
Crawford beeped the horn on the car. "Damnit, Schuldich, hurry up! I've already filled up the gas tank and paid!"  
  
Schuldich snorted and leaned against the wall of the food-drink-and cigs building of the gas station. "I WOULD hurry, mein liebchen, but we're waiting on Farf."  
  
Crawford twitched. "How long does it TAKE to go to the bathroom, anyway?!"  
  
Schuldich was about to answer when there was a shrill shriek from said restroom, followed by Farfie's trademark Giggle of Insanity and a gleeful "This hurts God."  
  
"What NOW?" Crawford asked--well, he would have asked, but before he could, Nagi was already staggering out of the bathroom, Farfarello floating along behind him. To the questioning glances from the older assassins, he answered, "Farfie and the toilet paper didn't like each other."  
  
"Didn't they?" Crawford hissed, at his wit's end.   
  
Nagi was staring at one of the drink machines thoughtfully and he ignored that last comment. He pointed to the large picture on the side of the machine and said, "Ko-kou-ko-ra. Otherwise known as Coca-Cola, or simply Coke. In Chinese, it means 'bite the waxed tadpole'. Did you guys know that?" Crawford spared a glance at the large Coca-Cola image, then rolled his eyes in exasperation. It seemed EVERYONE had heard of the English-Chinese Coca-Cola conflict.   
  
Schuldich only grinned cheekily at Crawford as the three of them joined the precog in the car, Nagi reluctantly sitting in the back this time. "Yeah. Those damned Americans. Can't get anything right. What about the Japanese Coke slogan, eh? 'I feel Coke and sound special.' Heh."  
  
The only resident American glowered. Farfarello was now ranting about "stupid Americans" and their affiliation with God.   
  
He should have predicted something like this would happen. He really  
should have.  
  
Schu straightened the road map importantly as soon as they were back on the highway. "All right, take that road...blah blah blah...bypass such and such...blah blah blah..."   
  
Not really. But that's what it sounded like to poor Farf's ears. The dear psychopath was bored out of his mind--again, I might add. He was looking forward to this "Beast" that Schuldich spoke of--maybe his safety restraints would malfunction...he drooled at the thought. Sweet bliss.   
  
But for the moment, there was no Beast, and nothing else remotely dangerous.   
  
He occupied himself for a few minutes by abusing the back of Schuldich's seat with his foot, and when the German finally told him to stop (threatening not to buy him any cotton candy, and, mind you, that was the only reason Farfie complied), he resorted to seeing how hard he had to bite his fingers before they came off.  
  
Days...no, hours...or minutes...? Sometime later, long after Farfarello had lost track of time, Nagi leaned around Crawford's seat to point and stare and murmur with utmost politeness, "Is that it?"   
  
Crawford pushed his glasses up on his nose and almost smiled in relief. Almost.   
  
Schuldich folded up the map roughly and shouted, "WE'RE HERE!"  
  
The psycho in the backseat crooned his approval. Finally, he would come face to face with almost certain pain and/or death! (After all, he planned to ride all of the dangerous rides, and the probability that he would escape unscathed was, in his eyes, very slim. Hopefully.)   
  
-TBC- 


	3. Graphic Humor

A/N: Hey, minna! ^^ Eh... other than the fact that FanFiction.Net has been down so much, I haven't really gotten to write anything lately... Either I'm not in the mood, or I have no inspiration, or I'm busy with something else. This past week, I was on the other side of the state visiting my grandma, and then I got sick, so... I'm still fighting it off. I only have a cough and a stuffy/runny nose right now. But you shoulda seen me when I first got sick... ^^;; Anyway... On with the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Wei Kreuz, King's Island, Imadoki, the song that Omi sings (I'l give you a cookie if you can tell me the name of the J-rock artist that sings it) or any Seven-Eleven stores. (Though god knows if there was one close to where I live I'd be hanging out there all the time. Go Seven-Eleven!)  
  
Warning: Erm... hmm... no Farfisms in this chapter...there IS some minor Ken abuse. (In the verbal way. From me.) But it's not much! It's just kinda taunting on his stupidity... ^^;; Please don't flame me! Fire hurts! *looks at her imoto warily*  
  
-----  
  
"Damn, this car is WAY outta my style..." Youji groaned, leaning back in his seat.  
  
Aya, who was driving, twitched. "Well, I'm sorry, but they didn't have any rental cars that were purchased for over $30,000!!!"  
  
Ken, who was sitting in the back seat behind Aya, snickered. Although, he wasn't snickering at the goings-on in the front two seats. He was reading a book.   
  
Now, I know what you're thinking. Ken's reading a BOOK?! Dear god!!! Hell has frozen over!  
  
But wait... what's that label say? Imadoki? Why, KenKen, I never thought you to be the one to read shoujo novels! (After all, that IS Youji's job... he gets to point out the hot girls and stuff...)  
  
Moving on...  
  
Omi was in his own little world. His headphones were on his head, he had a great view of the scenery outside, no one was bothering him... ah, sweet peace.  
  
"Hm hmm hm hmmmm hmm..." Omi hummed. "Wai-ai-ai-ai I just wanna make love..."  
  
Youji's ears pricked at the hentai remark from such a seemingly innocent boy. He turned in his chair and looked at Omi. "What was that, bishounen?"  
  
Ken snickered again. Aya was silent. Omi looked out the window, completely oblivious, continuing his humming.  
  
Youji twitched. "Omi?"  
  
Omi looked up this time. "Huh...? Oh, hi Youji."  
  
Aya, without turning from his driving, calmly said, "Omi... we can hear you humming back there. Stop it. It's annoying."  
  
"Yeah, annoying's Ken's job," Youji added sarcastically.  
  
Ken, oblivious to anything but the world of Imadoki, giggled.  
  
"Oh, sorry, guys." Omi sheepishly turned his CD player off. "Um...how much longer will it be until we get to King's Island?"  
  
"..." Aya glanced over at Youji. "Well?"  
  
Youji pulled the map out of the glove compartment, then, after opening it, proceeded to examine it. "Well...it seems like we're not TOO far away from it... Just a few miles after this next rest stop here--"  
  
"Rest stop...?" Ken looked up from his Imadoki graphic novel at that statement. He then glanced at the Seven-Eleven Double Gulp cup that lie empty on the seat between him and Omi. "Rest stop! Rest stop! Aya! I have to POTTY--!!!"  
  
Aya twitched. "Can't you WAIT?"  
  
Ken bit his bottom lip. "No! I gotta potty NOW!"  
  
Omi sighed and brought his hand to his head. "I TOLD you you shouldn't have gotten that Double Gulp..."  
  
"Aya--!!!" Ken whined. "I-have-to-POTTY!!!"  
  
"Christ, Aya, hurry and get to that rest stop already!" Youji moaned. "Ken's whining is pissing me off...!"  
  
Aya twitched. And twitched. And twitched some more.  
  
"SHUT UP ALREADY!!! WE'LL GET TO THE GODDAMNED REST STATION IN A MINUTE!!!" Aya roared. "Is it ALL a guy can DO to have a nice, PEACEFUL vacation?!"  
  
The whole car was silent.  
  
"Thought so."  
  
Aya turned the wheel, shifting the car so it could coast into the rest stop. As soon as the car came to a stop, however, Ken pounced out and made a B-line for the restroom.  
  
"..." The other three just sat there for a moment. Youji, the first one to come out of the trance, glanced in the back seat, and saw Ken's Imadoki graphic novel with a piece of paper hastily stuck in for a bookmark.  
  
"Hmm... I wonder what Ken was laughing at... as far as I know, Imadoki isn't a comedy, it's a romance..." He curiously picked up the book and opened it to the page with the piece of paper stuck in it.  
  
Omi, by this time, had come out of the trance, and Aya was almost completely back.  
  
And this was when Youji began cackling.  
  
"God, Youji! You're next to my ear!" Omi whined, sticking his finger in said organ.  
  
"What's so funny...?" Aya asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.  
  
"This...this..." Youji was now gasping for air. "This...Ken got this from a used manga store...someone wrote dirty things...inbetween the panels..."  
  
Omi and Aya fell over.  
  
-TBC-  
  
I'm sorry if it's short... I'm sick, you see, and my creative juices are being rerouted from going to my brain to going to wherever the virus is. What do creative juices have to do with killing a virus? ...I dunno. But I had some good ideas before I got sick, and now I can't remember them, so I'm assuming that's what happened. 


	4. Highway to Hell

Author's Note: Hey, minna! Yet another installment of Road Trip! ^^ It's been a few weeks, I know, but NagiLite had a little trouble getting this to me due to problems with her e-mail address. But anyway... On with the next chapter! ^^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß Kreuz, or King's Island.  
  
-----  
  
The rest room break was much quicker than Aya, Youji, or Omi had expected it would be. Ken plopped back into his seat, saw Youji holding his beloved Imadoki, and made a wild grab for it.  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"Uh uh uh, Kenken," Youji tsked, holding the book just out of Ken's reach as Aya revved the engine, grumbling. "I want to finish reading these MOST interesting comments the previous owners so charmingly left in between panels..."  
  
"Ugg!" Omi glared at Ken, who had fallen over into his lap in an attempt to recover his manga. "Ken, stay on YOUR side, will you?"  
  
"Give--it--back!"  
  
Youji read on, ignoring his teammate.  
  
"Ken, stop crowding meeee!"  
  
"Yotan, it's not yours--"  
  
"Aya, tell Ken to give me my personal space," Omi said in exasperation, his headphones held in an impatient hand that was ready to thwap Ken.  
  
"Ken, give Omi his personal space."  
  
"But YOUJI--"  
  
"NOW, Ken."  
  
"Fine." Ken returned to his corner and sulked, "accidentally" kicking the back of Aya's chair as he rearranged his limbs.  
  
For all of five minutes, the ride was uneventful. Then--  
  
"Argh!"  
  
"Aya, what's going--"  
  
"HEY, MY HEADPHONES--"  
  
"Watch out for that truck--!"  
  
Their fabulously unappealing rental car swerved wildly until Aya finally pulled it into a precarious park on the shoulder of the road. His breath was uneven as he watched the eighteen-wheeler speed past them. He turned to glare at Ken. "Whatever just happened was your fault."  
  
"Wha--why?!"  
  
"You were THERE."  
  
Aya wrenched himself from the car--well, he tried, but he forgot to unbuckle his seatbelt. After that little action was taken care of, he wrenched himself from the car. He inspected the exterior, while inside the other three Weiß stared at each other in alarm.   
  
There was a tiny scratch beneath the doorlatch, and...  
  
And a flat tire.  
  
He resisted the urge to kill someone. He really didn't need this kind of stress. Well. It seemed they had a problem. He leaned down so he could inspect the front left tire, the flat one. Then he gave Youji a significant look. "Problem."  
  
"With WHAT? What the hell's going on?"  
  
"It seems we may be delayed concerning our arrival at King's Island."  
  
"Wonderful," Ken quipped darkly.  
  
Omi was rocking back and forth happily, headphones safely covering his ears.  
  
"Shut up, Ken, this was YOUR FAULT." Youji glared at the brown-haired man, who gaped in disbelief.   
  
"But what did I do?!"  
  
"You were THERE," Youji answered, apparently agreeing wholeheartedly with Aya's earlier assessment of Ken's responsibility.  
  
Ken returned to his pouting, but as soon as Youji's back was turned, he stole his manga back from where it was laying oh-so-innocently in the front passenger seat.  
  
"What're we going to do?" Youji asked quietly.  
  
Aya frowned. "Drastic measures must be taken. Youji...give me the Cell Phone."  
  
"You mean the Dangerous and Highly Unstable Cell Phone That's Scientifically Proven to Alter Human Cells? THAT Cell Phone?"  
  
"Er, yeah, that would be the one..."  
  
So via the Cell Phone, Aya called in back-up crews...eh, a repair shop, whereupon he begged for an employee to PLEASE come and change a flat tire for them...when asked if they had a spare, Aya answered that no, they did not. When asked why not, he growled and admitted that the car was a rental of unusually cheap proportions. This seemed to be enough for the repair people. They were on their way.  
  
It was funny, Aya reflected, sitting on the hard ground and watching traffic whiz by, how a person who was "on his way" could take so long to arrive at his intended destination...  
  
I shall spare readers the grueling details of the repair work--let it suffice to say that Aya paid a lot of money for something that looked very simple to do. This put him in an ill mood, and when they were finally on the road again, and Ken asked if they could stop for another potty-break, his face turned as red as his hair--a remarkable feat, really.  
  
Youji grinned and pointed at a destination on the far-off horizon. "Isn't that the place? King's Island?"  
  
"Wai-ai-ai-ai, I just wanna--" Was Omi's answer.  
  
"Hey, it is!" Ken whooped gleefully, much to Aya's annoyance. Oh, someone up There really hated him...he had a queasy feeling in his stomach. Was that short tryst with the Cell Phone already affecting him?  
  
"Rollercoasters! Cotton-candy! Expensive game booths! Capatilism at its worst! What could possibly be better?" Ken crooned. Youji rolled his eyes and stared longingly into the distance. Beautiful women. Beautiful, barely-clothed women. Beautiful, barely-clothed, desperate-to-be-deflowered women. What could be better?  
  
Aya was still worrying over the Cell Phone.   
  
But they had arrived in the vicinity, at least, of King's Island. Yipee.  
  
TBC 


	5. Godzilla...?

Author's Note: Woo! Two chapters up in about a week's time! Go us! ^^ Hmm... I'm gonna have to get NagiLite to add some comments of her own to her parts of the fic...

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß Kreuz, King's Island, Apocalypse Now, Godzilla, or L'Arc en Ciel. But I'll letcha know if I suddenly come into possession of any of these things. ^_~

-----

Farfie put his hands on his hips, raised his head to the sky, and sniffed. "Ah, I love the smell of urine in children's pants in the morning... It smells like... God hurting..."

Nagi rolled his eyes and pulled on Farf's arm, dragging him off the trash can. "C'mon, Farf. You don't wanna get your thrills out here."

Meanwhile, at the ticket booth, Crawford and Schu were waiting in line. A long line. A very long line.

"Why does this always happen to me...?" Crawford put his hand to his head.

"Don't worry about it, mein liebe." Schuldich concentrated on the first few heads in front of them, who, he noticed, happened to be Japanese. He smirked, and thought one word that he knew they all would hear.

'Godzilla.'

And all this suceeded in doing...was getting them started on a long, chittering conversation about Godzilla.

Schuldich nearly fell over. He looked at Crawford with a dejected expression, and muttered, "Well...I tried..."

"Tried what?"

"Well, you know how in movies, if you want vast amounts of Japanese people to get out of your way, you shout "Godzilla!" and watch them scatter?"

"...oh." Crawford glanced at the people in front of them. "I see."

Crawford needed his blood pressure pills.

Crawford suddenly got a vision. Lots of birds...Farfarello chasing them...Nagi holding onto the back of Farf's vest... Crawford sighed. 'Why?' And he pushed Schuldich out of the way. "You might not want to stand there."

As predicted, Farfie came zooming through the line, Nagi attatched to his back. "PIDGEONS!!!"

Crawford **REALLY** needed his blood pressure pills. 

After what seemed like ages, Crawford and Schuldich got thru the line, got their tickets, and Nagi managed to hold Farfie at bay by putting him in an invisible box. Go figure.

"OK, here's your tickets." Crawford handed the other three one ticket each. "Now, I'm going to grab our reservations at the resort. I'll be back in about a half hour or so. We meet then at the Eiffel Tower." He then glared at Schu and Nagi. "And keep Farfarello at bay until I return."

"Yes, sir," Schuldich responded, mockingly saluting Crawford. Crawford sighed and headed to the parking lot.

"So, we're on our own for a while?" Nagi asked to no one in particular. "What do we do first?"

"Head through the gates, I'd wager," Farf suggested. "I can only hope the harnesses come loose during a ride. Then people will die. God will hurt."

Schuldich and Nagi could only stare as Farfie began yet another "Have you hurt God today?" speech.

-----

"That'll be $7.50," a rather acne-infested teenager said in monotone.

"Jesus Christ, $7.50 for a parking ticket?!" Youji exclaimed.

"Well, it IS King's Island," Omi pointed out, vastly missing the CD player he had to leave in the resort room.

"Ken, give me $2.50," Aya said flatly.

"But _why_?"Ken whined.

"Because I only have a five, and I'm not breaking a twenty just for a parking ticket."

Ken grumbled and pulled the money out of his pocket. "OK. But you owe me back, plus interest."

Aya gave the kid the money, and got a parking ticket stub in return. The crappy excuse for a car sputtered through the parking lot and, eventually, found a parking spot. The four flowerboys climbed out and began walking towards the front gate.

Upon arrival at the ticket booth, the Weiß boys too had to stand in a rather long line. Although it wasn't as long as it had been minutes before.

Omi began looking around at the various people currently inhabiting the area before the front gates. In Japan, all these people would be gaijin, but here, _they_ were the gaijin. Ah well. At least they knew how to speak proper English.

"...wai-ai-ai-ai I just wanna make love..." he began humming quietly as he skimmed the crowds. There was someone with a large, multicolored mohawk. Omi winced. Some people can pull it off, but this particular mohawk was in _very_ bad taste. There was also someone with jet black hair...accompanying a smaller brunette and a slightly taller man with orange hair. Omi almost choked. His mouth opened and closed over and over again, but nothing came out. Finally, he tugged on the nearest sleeve to him, which just so happened to be Youji's.

"What is it now, bishounen?" Youji looked to where Omi was pointing.

At the exact time that Youji looked, another head of brown hair appeared next to the man with the orange hair, and Youji and Omi got a good look at all four men's faces.

Omi blinked. Youji blinked. Then, Youji poked behind him at Ken excitedly.

"Ow!" Ken snapped, rubbing where Youji had poked his arm. "Youji, cut it o--"

"It's L'Arc en Ciel!" Youji stated happily.

Ken blinked. "L'Arc en Ciel...? L'Arc en Ciel...?! UAHHH! Youji, do you _know_ what the chances are of meeting them _here_?!?! We're so lucky!!!" And Youji and Ken bounded off like two schoolgirls to meet the J-Rock band, leaving Omi blinking, thinking for sure he'd seen Schwarz, and standing with Aya, who was oblivious to the current happenings.

"Why can't these people move any faster...?" Aya grumbled to himself.

"Um...Aya...?" Omi asked in a tiny voice.

"What?" Aya's head snapped around.

"Um...Youji and Ken just ran off to meet a J-Rock band..."

"...Youji's with him. Ken won't get into trouble. They'll be back in a few minutes."

Omi huffed. "They might get lost!"

"And I care why...?"

Omi sighed and sat on the curb of a flowerbed. Sometimes Aya was _so_ hard to understand.

TBC


	6. Comings and Goings

Author's Notes (Ionia Metallium-Greywers): Hey minna! Yet another installment of Road Trip! Yay! ^^ *breaks out the party hats* Somehow, I think this is going to be a _very_ long fic, so please be patient with us! *bows politely* Tanoshimu kudasai!

Author's Notes (NagiLite): *bangs head on desk* Sleeeeeeep...I need fifteen hours of sleep a day...BUT! I have sacrificed sleep to the great gods (er, otherwise known as Weiß and Schwarz) in order to write this  
chapter...All hail the great gods! *falls over*  
  
Disclaimer: NagiLite owns the cutest Nagi plushie ever known to man. I own the first 3 DVDs. However, neither of us own Weiß, or Schwarz or, sadly, King's Island. No fun for us. :(  
  
-----  
  
"I wanna go on a thrilling, chilling, scary as hell roller coaster," stated Farfarello matter-of-factly.   
  
Nagi rolled his eyes and tried, in vain, to wring out his shirt. It was soaked, like his hair, like his  
pants, and, most unfortunately, like his shoes. With every step he took, his sneakers made a sickening  
'plop plop' sound.   
  
"The guy likes pain? I'll give him pain..." Schuldich was muttering under his breath. He was, of course,  
not allowed to actually _kill_ Farfie...  
  
**Flashback**  
  
Crawford, a million feet tall, glared at Schuldich, who was the wrongfully accused victim of a gory crime  
involving a spatula, a blender, and Crawford's (previously) ultra-clean kitchen.  
  
"If you _ever_ try to kill Farfarello again, I will personally remove your testicles and force them down  
your throat. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"  
  
Schuldich, too frustrated and intimidated by the Alpha male of Schwarz, failed to point out that he wouldn't  
have come to the point of nearly killing Farfarello if said psychopath had only left Schu's brand new  
trench-coat out of the whole spatula-blender-kitchen business. Instead, by way of an answer, he nodded and sulked his way to his bedroom.  
  
**End Flashback**  
  
...Despite not being allowed to kill Farfie, Schuldich planned to somehow exact his revenge upon his  
oblivious teammate.   
  
Nagi, who was less homicidal and knew Farfie was only being himself, said quite reasonably, "Honestly, did you _have_ to drag us on a water ride so soon in the day? We don't even have a change of clothes..."  
  
"Ooooh, that's the Eiffel Tower?" said Farfie, pointing what was, indeed, the Eiffel Tower.  
  
"Yes," said Nagi.  
  
"Damned crazy anti-Christ," muttered Schuldich, following after them.  
  
Crawford, standing with his back to them, didn't see his lover or the two youngest Schwarz members  
approaching, and it wasn't until Schuldich tapped a finger on his back and got his suit wet that Crawford  
noticed them. Then he frowned and asked what had happened.  
  
"Some BASTARD--" Schu ground out, staring pointedly at Farfie, who was making ugly faces at a little girl, "Convinced us to ride Congo Falls."  
  
"...Why'd you agree?"  
  
Nagi, sensing a row, said, "Hey, let's ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower. We can see the whole park, and  
decide where to go next."  
  
Everyone agreed, and they were soon staring down at the whole of the park, Nagi keeping a firm hold on  
Farfie to ensure he didn't decide to try his hand at flying.   
  
"So, what sort of rides should we ride first?" asked Nagi after a while.   
  
Immediately, Farfarello said, "The Beast."  
  
Crawford pursed his lips. "Why are you so obsessed with that infernal ride?"  
  
Both Farfie and Schuldich stared at him in disbelief. "The Beast--The World's Longest Wooden Roller  
Coaster--"  
  
"7,400 feet of track--"  
  
"Speeds of over sixty miles per hour--"  
  
"The dark tunnels--"  
  
"The God-hurting factor--"  
  
"Jesus, it's the best roller coaster in the entire galaxy--!"  
  
Nagi had gone very pale, and Crawford was skeptical, but Farfie and Schuldich (who had temporarily  
forgotten all the ways he was going to force Farfarello to feel pain--though as we all know, that's  
impossible) were in ecstasies.   
  
So, the Beast it was.  
  
-----  
  
Meanwhile, Omi had convinced Aya that sitting on a bench wishing for Ken and Youji to magically appear  
wasn't going to work.   
  
"Who knows where they've gotten to," murmured Omi to himself, scanning the crowd. He regretted daydreaming earlier while he'd been waiting for Aya to get the tickets--if he'd only paid more attention to Youji and Ken, he would know where they'd run off to. Aya, as it was, seemed more interested in trying to be invisible than helping Omi locate the other two assassins.   
  
"I just have to find a large crowd of fangirls--because that'll mark where L'Arc en Ciel is,  
and where L'Arc en Ciel is, Youji and Ken shall be. Hey, I'm a genius," Omi congratulated himself.   
  
This plan was harder to carry out than it seemed. Aya, it just so happened, had a fetish for cotton  
candy, and he forced Omi to stop at the first confection stand they came across. Cotton candy, as  
readers should well know, is ridiculously messy. Consequentially, Aya soon had very sticky, very pink  
fingers--he was far too dignified to actually lick said appendages. He insisted they find a restroom ("A  
clean one, if you please, Omi," which Omi didn't grace with a reply). They pondered together over a park map for about five minutes before finally locating the facilities. The two hurried off.  
  
A few moments later, Ken and Youji ran, panting, to the spot where they'd left Aya and Omi. "Aya! Omi!"  
Ken yelled, glancing around.  
  
Youji shook his head. It had been against his better judgment to let Ken lead them back from their  
comfortable place in the crowd of fans that had surrounded L'Arc en Ciel. Why, with his luck, Aya and  
Omi had been kidnapped by mutants and forced to do any manner of horrible things...  
  
Normally, he wouldn't let this bother him too much; Aya and Omi were big boys, they could take care of  
themselves. However, Aya had the tickets, Aya had the money, and there was no way Youji was going to spend the day bumming change off Americans.  
  
"C'mon, Ken, let's ask around...someone's _bound_ to have seen them..."  
  
Ken was doubtful. "They're only two guys. No one would notice them, right?"  
  
Youji spread his hands out, as if painting a picture. "Imagine this, Kenken. Aya--bright red hair. Evil, _PURPLE_ eyes. Omi--short kid who sings pornographic songs. Believe me. _Someone's_ seen them."  
  
(The irony the author and readers are experiencing at this moment, I assure you, was lost on Ken and Youji.)

-TBC-


End file.
